


Break Him Down, Build Him Up

by ImpulsivelyBlue



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arkham Asylum, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpulsivelyBlue/pseuds/ImpulsivelyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was given another boys colours and was hidden away in a dead boys shadow.</p>
<p>He was the reminder of Batman’s failure to save his partner, his son. He became everything that they weren’t. He made himself the opposite of the dead boy, the acted differently and smiled a smile that wasn’t his. He changed how he acted, how he looked at school work and made himself in to something he wasn’t.</p>
<p>He never would have dreamed in his worst nightmares about the events would follow.</p>
<p>If he could go back now, he would, the price that he has to pay is too high, the demand too much, the loss too great. He doesn’t know how he survived, just like he doesn’t know who looks back at him when he looks in the mirror.</p>
<p>He has become someone more and yet he feels like something less.</p>
<p>This shouldn’t be him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Him Down, Build Him Up

 ---

There is nothing left that is just _Tim_ anymore.

There is the son and the solder. The fighter and the survivor. There is the brother and the best friend.

His loyalty is to Batman and Gotham. His blood is spilt for Gotham and he heals for the city. He protects those that hate him and those that once cared for him and were cared for in returned.

There is nothing that isn’t Robin, Rob, leader, son, Red Robin, little brother, replacement, unwanted. There is nothing that is him. It’s all gone now, sold to the man in the shadows and the city hidden beneath its own filth.

He had blood on his hands and his blood stains the hands of others. He fights to survive and attacks to protect.

He was Robin, he would fly over rooftops and smile and laugh because that was what he needed to do. Even then, when he was so young, he recognised that he was sacrificing who he was for another mans mission. Now, he wishes he had realised the price he would pay then the day came that he realised there was _nothing left_.

He was given another boys colours and was hidden away in a dead boys shadow.

He was the reminder of Batman’s failure to save his partner, his son. He became everything that they weren’t. He made himself the opposite of the dead boy, the acted differently and smiled a smile that wasn’t his. He changed how he acted, how he looked at school work and made himself in to something he wasn’t.

He never would have dreamed in his worst nightmares about the events would follow.

If he could go back now, he would, the price that he has to pay is too high, the demand too much, the loss too great. He doesn’t know how he survived, just like he doesn’t know who looks back at him when he looks in the mirror.

He has become someone more and yet he feels like something less.

This shouldn’t be him.

These names.

These colours.

This life and this almost not quite isn’t family. He shouldn’t carry the name Wayne even if Drake still stands strong no matter how many times the newspapers forget the Drake part.

He shouldn’t be Little Brother or Baby Bird.

He shouldn’t be Son, Robin or Partner.

He shouldn’t be pretender, replacement or Detective.

 But he is, he is all of these things and he is none of these things.

He is so much and so little and in so much pain. He knows this isn’t him and when he tries to change the people around him frown and shout and _they won’t let him_ change _._ He just wants to be the self he lost to Gotham and shadows and Robin, he wants to be more like he was when his team and his friends could look at him, really look at him, when they were young just us and then teen titans.

Tim doesn’t want what he has, he tries to run, but they bring him back and they tell him he’s sick, this is who he is, who else is he meant to be. They take him to Arkham and he cries.

They break him back down, taking away those parts of himself that he built back up, and they re build him in the image that they want to see.

 ---


End file.
